I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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