if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
