so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
This is my gift to your gina
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
