I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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