i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize