maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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