i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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