The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
