Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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