it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
