Nicole vs. Life
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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