Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
