i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
