If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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