I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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