It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
