Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
