READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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