I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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