He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
