I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
