I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
