In the future we'll all be gay
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
