Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
