Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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