so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
