I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
you never un-have a 4some
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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