We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
