Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
