I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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