Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
