the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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