my phone needs a breathalizer
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
