she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
