Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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