Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
