guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
