I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
