well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
