Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Randomize