thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
