Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you will always have a special place in my vag
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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