I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
