sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
