Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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