The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
