Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
vagina is talking i cant
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
