Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
