I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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