we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
