Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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