But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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