is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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