Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
