i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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