I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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