I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize