nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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