no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
