You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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