how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
