party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
