but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
