Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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