the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize