Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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