So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
